


Amateur Dentistry

by Mr Son (MrSon)



Series: Xenophilia [1]
Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Gen, splithead Alsmiffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 19:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrSon/pseuds/Mr%20Son
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alsmiffy ate a chicken and needs a bit of help cleaning his teeth.</p><p>(Note to the Yogscast: Do not read any of my fics on stream.)<br/>(I do not support the Yogscast company. I write because I enjoy the characters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amateur Dentistry

**Author's Note:**

> [This comic](http://mwolf0epsilon.tumblr.com/post/72948279311/comic-based-on-roros-splitface-smiffy-headcanon) and [this fic](http://prettiestdwarfinthemineshaft.tumblr.com/post/73770308843/oops-lalna-alsmiffy-science) met in my head and I accidentally a fic.

=== === ===

Alsmiffy wouldn't have gone to Duncan with this, if they hadn't been the only ones at the castle.

He stood outside Duncan's private quarters, waiting for a response to his knock, trying not to fidget or pick at the feathers he hadn't been able to get out of his mouth on his own. He felt so stupid; he shouldn't have tried to eat the chicken whole, no matter how much better they tasted raw. At the least, he could have plucked it.

Now he had dozens of feathers between his teeth, and bone splinters in his gums, and he couldn't get them out on his own, and Ross wasn't there to help him.

His only hope at the moment was that Duncan would be willing to reach into his mouth and pull everything out. Alsmiffy didn't have high expectations on that matter; Ross had been the first person he'd ever met who'd been willing to stand within a mile of him when his mouth was open. Not only did the sight of it frighten almost everyone, but he was given to understand that humans found the smell rather unpleasant.

Not for the first time Alsmiffy considered taking up the human practice of brushing his teeth.

But without Ross around his only other option would be waiting for his saliva to dissolve everything. And that could take a week or two, and it would ache the whole time. So he waited for Duncan to answer his door.

Finally there was the click of a turning lock, and the door swung away, leaving Alsmiffy staring into Duncan's shadowed eyes.

"Did you get any sleep?" Alsmiffy asked, at the same time Duncan murmured, "What do you want?"

"Ah..." Alsmiffy fell quiet, not quite sure how to bring up his question. It seemed a bit awkward just saying, 'hey, would you pull some shit out of my mouth? I kind of ate one of your chickens.'

Duncan rubbed a hand over his face, his glove leaving behind a trail of silvery grit on his forehead and cheek. "No, no I didn't. One of the teleporters broke down and I've been making the parts I'll need to fix it."

"You didn't have them already?" Alsmiffy was honestly surprised. It had always seemed that no matter what obscure little part was needed for a machine, Duncan would have one tucked away in a chest somewhere. It might take longer to find it than it would to make a new one, but it would be there.

Duncan shook his head with a tired laugh. "I will next time. I made extra." He flopped to the side, leaning his shoulder against the door frame. Suddenly, he leaned forward, almost into Alsmiffy's personal space, squinting somewhat blearily up at his forehead. "Why is there a feather stuck in your head?"

Alsmiffy reached up automatically, but managed to keep himself from pulling at the stuck feather again. "I-..." He could feel himself starting to flush in embarrassment, and he felt _so stupid_. Hopefully Duncan was too tired to notice. "I ate one of your chickens."

"Okay." Duncan's head tilted to the side slightly. His words came out of him slowly, his sleeplessness audible. "I don't think I've ever seen someone who was such a messy eater that they got things stuck in their head before." His eyes fell back down from the feather to Alsmiffy's face. "When I said you could help yourself to the food, I was expecting you'd take something from the prepared food chest, not the chicken coop, but it's okay. You don't need to apologize or anything."

"I... prefer raw food." Alsmiffy muttered, a half truth. It was more that he preferred food that was freshly killed, still warm and bleeding. But humans were usually creeped out when he told them that. It was easier to eat their food most of the time, and not say anything. It wasn't like their food was _bad_. "I wasn't going to apologize. I just... need your help with something."

Duncan shoved himself off the doorway. He wobbled a little, almost falling into the other side before straightening. "Yeah? With the feather?" he teased.

"Yes."

Duncan stared for a moment. "Seriously? It's really stuck in there? Well, I can go get some pliers I guess. Wait a tic." He closed the door in Alsmiffy's face and could be heard rummaging through things inside. Various objects went clink and clunk against each other, and a few things thumped loudly, obviously thrown across the room. There was a loud crash, like glass shattering, followed by some copious swearing, before the door swung open again. "Sorry about that. I found the pliers. Want to come in and sit down?"

As Duncan stood back to make room, Alsmiffy stepped cautiously into the room. It was a mess of scattered tools and parts, and a pile of glass sat next to some unknown machine against the wall. Duncan herded him through another door into a small bedroom, and waved a hand unsteadily at the bed. "Go ahead and have a seat."

"It's not just the one feather." Alsmiffy started to explain as he sat down.

Duncan pulled in a chair from another room and set it beside the bed, stripping off his gloves before falling down into it and waving the pliers lazily through the air in front of Alsmiffy's face. "Let's get the obvious one first before you start disrobing, okay?"

Alsmiffy batted the pliers away as Duncan reached for the feather, and snapped in irritation, "No, listen! It's my mouth, alright? They're all stuck in my mouth and I can't get them out on my own."

Duncan blinked at him, swaying slightly in his chair. "You have a mouth?"

"Of course I do." Alsmiffy, cranky and impatient, annoyance overpowering his embarrassment and nervousness, opened his mouth, displaying the layered rows of sharp teeth, full of cracked feathers and shards of bone. Fully expecting Duncan to recoil in horror, he played it up, and wiggled all four of his long, worm-like tongues, even flicking one in a way he knew would send dribblets of saliva right past Duncan's ear.

Duncan froze, staring silently for several long moments, until Alsmiffy started regretting his impulsiveness.

"That's..." Duncan swallowed, his eyes widening. "That's awesome!"

Alsmiffy's mouth snapped shut. "What?"

"Open up again! Were those rows like shark teeth?" Duncan's empty hand came up and he ran his fingers along the seam of Alsmiffy's mouth. "Do they break and regrow? What is having four tongues useful for? Why don't you use it to talk? Is it not connected to your windpipe?"

Under Duncan's stroking, and the barrage of questions, Alsmiffy opened his mouth again, curling his tongues down out of the way as Duncan sunk himself up to the elbows inside him. Duncan didn't stop asking questions as he plucked out feathers and bone shards, tossing them to the floor. Alsmiffy would have answered him, but Duncan didn't pause a moment between sentences.

It was a frustratingly long wait for all the bits to be picked out. Ross would have done it in half the time. Though... certainly without as much enthusiasm. Alsmiffy found himself flushing again at the realization that he was appreciating the attention. He was glad that Duncan was too busy examining the musculature of his tongues to see his blush. And wasn't that a weird thing to be glad of?

It was just that he'd never had someone _enjoy_ his monstrous features before. Ross was chill about it, but he still thought it was creepy. He was simply a good friend, and willing to deal with being creeped out to help Alsmiffy when he needed it. Duncan though... he was so happy to be digging around inside Alsmiffy's razor-edged mouth. When he exclaimed that something was _weird_ , it was with a tone of delight.

Duncan's questions wound down as he ran out of debris to remove, and he tossed the pliers aside, but didn't take his hands out of Alsmiffy's mouth. He wobbled unsteadily for a moment, then began stroking his fingers slowly between the rows of teeth.

"You're... amazing." Duncan's voice was soft, and muddled with drowsiness. "Thanks for letting me help out."

"Thanks for cleaning my teeth." Alsmiffy said, with a hint of sarcasm, but mostly sincerity. Who thanks someone for being allowed to help? Apparently this guy.

Duncan's eyes fell closed, and he wavered in his chair again. Alsmiffy reached up and pulled Duncan's hands out of his mouth, and closed it. Duncan didn't try to pull out of Alsmiffy's grip, and actually slumped forward, resting his head against Alsmiffy's chest.

Alsmiffy sighed, and pulled Duncan's arm over his shoulder, supporting him as he stood. He turned and pushed the blankets aside, before easing Duncan onto the bed.

"Hey." Duncan muttered as Alsmiffy started pulling the blankets over him. "I still need to fix the teleporter."

"In the morning. Idiot."

Duncan slowly rolled over. "Alright."

By the time Alsmiffy was out of Duncan's rooms and closing the door behind him, he could hear snores from the bedroom.

=== === ===


End file.
